Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Driving At Sunset

I took a drive out to Monterey to run some errands tonight and the sky was so beautiful that I had to share. The fog from PG was just creeping over the hill and high patchy clouds blanketed the rest of the sky. The gap between the two layers was a crystal clear blue, brighter than anything I've ever seen. The sun sinking low on the horizon made the high clouds glow a color that doesn't even have a name. Somewhere between rose and salmon is the best I can do to describe it. And it really did glow. Like some otherworldly light emitted from the heavens.

As I drove past Lake El Estero, the fading light reflected off the water in the most awesome patterns and colors. I decided to drive home along the ocean instead of taking the freeway. Every wave and ripple caught the light from above and mixed it with the deep darkness of the ocean to make new and fascinating colors in shades or purple and blue and pink. It was so amazing that it was hard to keep my eyes on the road as I followed the curves of the coastline. I wanted to reach Asilomar beach and pull over before the light faded, but no such luck behind a tourist who kept breaking unnecessarily. It faded right as I passed the Point Pinos lighthouse.

At the ending of such a hectic day the spectacle evoked so many emotions and brought to the surface of my mind so many thoughts that I couldn't even focus on one thing. I felt joy and peace and happiness and loneliness and frustration and sadness all at once. I thought about how I live in such a beautiful place but often forget about that in the day to day of life. I thought that even though it can be explained by simple science, every sunset is a gift from God. I felt sad that I couldn't be one of those people walking along the path hand in hand with a loved one or sitting on the sand with any or all of my best friends talking over the day. I thought about my day at work and how I felt confident that handled all the stress and trials that today brought well and accomplished everything I needed to do. I was upset that I didn't have even one of my three cameras with me. I thought about how much fun I had at the party on Saturday and how beautiful I felt in the dress I wore. I felt frustrated that I haven't been able to motivate myself to go back to the gym and that I don't know what to do to fix that. I thought about how lately my life has seemed like really great hours or even days with just whatever in between. Not happiness or sadness, just a sense of going through the motions and not really knowing what to do to fill the space other than the same thing I did the day before. Like I've almost forgotten that there's things I really like to do. I haven't baked or cooked or scrapbooked or hiked or gone to the movies in too long.

As I turned my back on the ocean and drove up the hill to my apartment a few sprinkles from those high clouds fell on my windshield and I resolved that it's again time to break the cycle. One day at a time. Tomorrow the gym and a big yummy dinner. Maybe Thursday I'll make banana bread or some other delicious treat to share with my coworkers. This weekend I will go somewhere with my camera and work on the scrapbook I started for Katie. But for tonight I will remember that I'm lucky to be where I am; in a place that can produce such beautiful sunsets and sunrises as this:

6 comments:

Monica said...

oh my god that is amazing!

~rob said...

Face it: You were driving like a tourist too...

"I thought about how lately my life has seemed like really great hours or even days with just whatever in between. Not happiness or sadness, just a sense of going through the motions and not really knowing what to do to fill the space other than the same thing I did the day before. Like I've almost forgotten that there's things I really like to do."

<- That sums up exactly what I was feeling last night. I like my job and my current commuting situation, but every day ist he same: Get up, get on train, go to work, get on train, waste whatveer little time I have until it's time to go to bed, go to bed and try to sleep, repeat indefinately. Sprinkled in there at radmon intervals is "eat same food that I had recently."

We really need to do that backpacking trip.

Unknown said...

FYI: those pictures are not from this night...they are from other evenings and mornings in Monterey.

~Beth D. said...

Nicky likes the third one down from the top.

~rob said...

You were still driving like a tourist...

BTW, the second shot has now been stolen and used as my wallpaper at work. It's my mini-vacation every time I close a window.

Also, I have to say "thank you, you jerk." After putting it on my desktop, I had the most annoying person in my office wander into my cube and go on and on about how great a picture it was, how it made him feel like he was standing right ther on the beach, blah blah blah... While I must agree and pass my compliments along about it being a great pic, I also want to smack you. If you'd not posted it, I wouldn't have put it on my computer and he wouldn't have invaded my space for nearly 10 minutes.

You jerk.

Unknown said...

Muhahahaha! My evil plan has worked!

And thank you. That's also what my desktop is on my computer.